So many times through my life my to-do list is longer than my prayer time with God. Time asking Him what He wants me to do for Him. My impatience and need for control override my quiet time sitting and listening to His quiet whispers. When my kids were toddlers I felt such a longing to ‘do’ something that was meaningful in my life. Then when they went off to school another change that brought me to another desire to ‘do’ something more since I had more time. In middle school life gets crazy as you transition into the taxi service for all events and friend activities. Still the desire to ‘do’ something meaningful. Then high school transition into them getting their driver’s license and the taxi service stops except when they forget the one millionth thing they desperately need RIGHT NOW! But the desire to ‘do’ something purposeful drives through your spirit.
All of these desires tormented me so much that my type A personality thought that in the lack of times sake that I would just make a to ‘do’ list. You know the list to help God out. The list I put together in the things that I think will look meaningful, purposeful and impactful. The list that I made without consulting God because I know if I am busy then He must be so much more so!
In these lists there were many things that were meaningful, purposeful, and impactful. My to ‘do’ list, to be honest, was to make me feel like I was accomplishing items that would make me look like the good little Christian woman not following the path that God had laid before me. I was so intent on finding my calling and purpose that I forgot to ask the One that called me and gave me my purpose. I was overlooking some of the quiet signs that God put before, too busy making my list.
Try each day to allow God to be first, before every list, every commitment, every urgent desire to do something greater than myself. Stop, pray, look and listen. Shut down the distractions. Pray for God to reveal His plan and purpose for you in that day. Look for His subtle signs. Listen for His small whisper. Sometimes you may feel like He is silent and is not presenting signs that blare flashing lights saying ‘Go this way’, ‘Do this task’. More times than not it is in the cry of a toddler to be held after getting a boo-boo, or a school-aged child showing fear in a new circumstance, a middle schooler anxious about how they look and if they will be accepted, or the high-schooler who needs a prayer as they drive out of the driveway for the first time (and the millionth).
God, show me who you created in me and how you want me to live in the abilities you have given me while using it all for a purpose greater than myself.