I could spend all day on a Saturday watching romantic movies from start to finish over and over again. I love the way the couple comes together under poor circumstances, lose the relationship to only be pulled together by the great love and romance that keeps them bonded. The men in romantic movies know just what to say and just when to say it. They romance the women who fall forever in love. I am a helpless romantic movie lover!
Romantic movies are great but they can send you into an unrealistic view of how your relationship should look. The view of what how your hubby is ‘suppose’ to act, talk and be can set you up with unrealistic expectations. The expectation for him to react in the way a scripted actor performs is impossible and a set up for failure.
God created man and woman to come together as one. This is not a 50/50 union but one complete. There are times in a marriage where you feel you give more than your husband or he doesn’t give enough. Then there are times he may feel the same. That is what marriage is, coming together to support one another. This is also true for the romance in marriage. Giving up on the romantic movie idea that our hubby’s are to ride in on a white horse and sweep us up into his arms while red rose petals fall from the heavens is the first step in creating that marriage of one.
Song of Solomon, we see the couple’s mutual admiration. A flurry of romantic compliments that build and encourages the other.
“He: As a lily among brambles, so is my love among the young women. She: As an apple tree among the trees of the forest so is my beloved among the young men. With great delight, I sat in his shadow, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.” Song of Solomon 2: 2-3
Changing our view of romance can be a game changer in your relationship. Being able to see romance as not only the man’s ‘job’ but seeing that we can romance him and together enhance our marriages. A husband’s romance for his wife along with the wife’s romance for her husband is a true complement to the mutual love in a relationship.
Here are a few ideas of how a wife can romance her hubby.
• Write him a love note. It doesn’t have to be an expensive card but can be a note on a post it or even a torn piece of paper. The meaning comes from the words.
• Know his love language. http://www.5lovelanguages.com/ Then show him love the way he needs to receive it.
• Ask him about something that interests him and LISTEN to his response. Nothing is more romantic than to know that your spouse cares enough to listen to something they are not interested in.
• Plan a special outing. Do it without asking him what he wants to do. When you listen to him and understand his love language then you can figure out something to do that would bless him.
• Romance him in a way that he likes to be romanced. In your talks with him ask him what he finds romantic and DO it! You may think his response is silly, but being obedient to doing it, no matter what you think, will allow him to open his heart wider the next time you ask.
And for you men! A few ideas to help romance your wife.
• Find out her love language. http://www.5lovelanguages.com/ Then show her love the way she needs to receive it.
• Find out how she defines romance and DO it the way it would bless her most.
• Physically touch your wife with NO strings attached. Don’t turn it into a sexual rendezvous. Just give love touches like a stroke on her shoulder, push her hair off her face, kiss her hand, or place your hand on the small of her back while crossing a street. Any touch that is a contact of love, not sex.
• Take time to talk with her. Talk about her dreams and aspirations, even though a woman may have decided to stay at home with the kids or if she is in the midst of a career doesn’t mean she doesn’t still dream.
• Make sure your wife knows you would marry her all over again. Let her know and show her in your actions that she is the only woman you have eyes for.
What works for you? Is there something other than what’s on these lists that work well in romancing your spouse? Let us know. It could be beneficial to our marriages too!