“I can’t even look at him without being angry, how am I suppose to go on a date with him?” This was my first thought during a session of a marriage course. The next few thoughts were more excuses than defensive.
All very negative thoughts. All sabotaging the time we would spend together in the process of healing our marriage. Once I gave in to the idea if we were going to work on our marriage and survive the rocky road of destruction we were traveling, we had to connect. To connect we needed time together leaving all the distractions and busyness of life behind. We needed to learn to date one another again. We needed to learn to be together.
“The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’” Genesis 2:18
God knew from the beginning that it was not good for man to be alone. He created someone who would walk beside him, ahead of him, behind him, supporting and helping…together. As we amble through the days of our marriage many things change. Life can get in the way. The adventure of life can take us into waters we never expected to go. We have a to-do list, new responsibilities, kids, work, friends, school volunteering and the list goes on and on. All direct us to a place of loneliness, not togetherness. Taking time to invest in your relationship with your spouse enables you to plan for the future.
In the chaos of your busy lives remembering the importance of connecting with your spouse leads you into the adventure of love and life that was the norm in the beginning of your relationship. It is the entryway to falling in love all over again.
In the beginning of planning a date with our spouse, it can be hard to come up with ideas of how to start.
Take a chance.
Commit to a date.
Put it on the calendar.
Make it a priority!
Here are a few ideas for dates.
Free Date Ideas:
Bake cookies together after you put the kids to bed.
Get up early, brew a pot of coffee and sit together.
Find a quiet place to sit together and talk about things you like/love.
Play a board game together.
Take a long walk.
Watch a sunset or sunrise.
Low-Cost Date Ideas:
Take out by candlelight at home
Go to a movie then dessert after and discuss the movie
Go to a museum
Get a coffee then take a nature walk
Make a picnic and sit in a park on a blanket together
A Bed and Breakfast for a night
Plan a night of dinner and a play
Go to a concert
A weekend getaway to a place you visited early in your marriage
Once my hubby and I committed to spending one night a week together we saw significant improvement in our communication. The look of our date nights had changed from our pre-marriage days but the excitement of being courted brought a new excitement to our relationship. We shared our feelings instead of our checklist. We began to connect deeper than our topical conversations of the kids and finances. Remembering why we fell in love was transformational. Romance, respect, and reconnection sparked our love story once again. Date night led to our planning our future together that set us up for a successful beginning to our empty nest.
What is holding you back from investing in your marriage with a date night? Take the first step and ask your spouse on a date. Put it on the calendar and make it a priority. Let me know how it goes!