I have been struggling with doubt, self-worth, and belonging lately. I was thrown for quite a loop as I usually am categorized as uber confident for most of my life. Confidence is a character trait I’ve clung to and felt very comfortable with until…
Until when? That was the question I continued to ask. When did I begin to lose my confidence?
When we question our confidence, we look back to where we find our assurance. Ultimately it comes from our deep belief in the Gospel. My faith comes from Christ.
So am I struggling with my faith? My answer was a quick, NO!
Am I struggling with knowing God is with me? Again, no.
Is the struggle based on where God has me? No.
Who does God say I am? No.
Weeks and weeks have passed as I seem to be spiraling into a pit of doubt, angst, and confusion.
Anxiety escalated.
Fear swelled.
Hopelessness was inching its way into my spirit.
In that desperation, I cried out to Jesus and then a couple of reliable Christian friends, those Jesus in skin kind. As we talked and prayed, I felt the Lord ask me what the one question that was repeating in my mind was. I quickly retorted with I don’t know! My friends affirmed my concerns and talked me through the truth of what God says.
Over the next few days, I prayed and asked God to expose the question to me. It was revealed over and over again.
“What will they think?”
Many times throughout the day, I would ask myself this question.
When I laid in bed a little too long. When I took the trash to the street in yoga pants and a t-shirt that was too big and stained. When I dressed to go to a meeting. When I spoke my opinions or concerns. When I wrote a blog. When I spoke to a group. When my loud voice rebounded off the four white walls. When my husband didn’t respond like I thought he should in front of others. When I posted a picture on Instagram. When I responded to a post on Facebook.
Every.
Single.
Thought.
And.
Action.
I questioned, What would they think? I was stunned at the depth I had allowed this question to sink into my life. My hope. My joy.
Do you question, What will they think?
When your children act out in public? When your house isn’t spotless and someone stops by? When you look at your Instagram feed in comparison to a friend’s? When your car isn’t as nice as the other moms at school? When your hair isn’t having a good day? When you aren’t having a good day? When you don’t know the answer to the question in Bible Study?
The verse in Galatians 1, I read it and chuckled. My misunderstanding of who I am serving. And I have to laugh at myself.
Whose approval should we be worried about in our lives?
God’s!
We have freedom in Christ to be who HE has created us to be. We are saved by the Gospel, NOT by the law. We are saved by faith, not legalistic rituals, standards, or opinions of others. We are to love and serve others and not to do wrong. We are to carry each other’s burdens and be kind to one another. Our inquiry should be how are we serving the Lord, not what others may think.
Applying this Galatians 1:10 to our lives, lightens our struggles. Accepting that we are seeking the approval of God and NOT of other humans, we are serving Christ. We Please Him!
Lord, give us the courage to seek your approval above anyone else’s. Let us love others but obey you. Give us the strength to be kind to one another even when we may not agree. Give us protection when we feel rejection. Bring us closer to you in times of need for approval. That we may know we please you in all we say, do, and are. May we see the rejoicing in all the small things we do for your glory.
